Island de Vides

Let's take a little trip back to 2012.

Before we moved in, the first thing we did was try to tackle the little "Island de Vides"...or Island of Vines.....otherwise known as a big huge patch of weeds that are overtaking the world, one driveway at a time!!!

We have pulled weeds & vines no less than three times since this day. The bad part is that the vines aren't even pretty. No blooms...no redeeming factor. They spread like wildfire!

#killallthevines

Little man worked so hard he tuckered out. Gigi took advantage!

Seriously. I can't get over how much this boy has grown in 2 1/2 years. He's almost to my shoulders at 7  years old. And that little bit of "baby" is almost gone.

Get me a tissue please!!

Do you see all of the vines?

They could give you Jumanji-style nightmares! Relentless little suckers. They pop up shoots clear across the yard. We really need to till up every square inch of this place.

I love a hard-working man. He seriously has put so many long hours transforming this place.

I probably should put the same amount of hours in blogging so that you all can actually SEE what it looks like now.

The sun shines here so beautifully through the trees.
It's most definitely peaceful.
I hope my kids remember the feeling of the sun peering through the branches and leaves. Feeling it beat on their cheeks. I can remember the feeling of my childhood yard. The ripples of the pond below our house. I remember so many little details.
And they are good.
So good.

I pray they carry the same good memories and treasure them for a lifetime.

I absolutely love most, that they are finding "wildlife" around the woods. Becoming such adventurous little guys. It amazes me how this one doesn't seem to have much fear when he's out there. In other situations, he's my more reserved child. But something about him being outside just sets him free.

Makes this momma's heart happy.

That hip.
Oh that hip.
It's of his daddy. And I love every little square inch of him.

And he sure loves his Doc.

But, holy cow who knew what we were getting in to when we moved here. We battle the leaves like nobody's business! The vines are now a little more under control but it takes maintenance for sure. And the turtle, well...he's probably still around, cute little guy!

So much to do when you live in the woods. There is no clean space. I'm dying to turn our Island de Vides into a perfect little spot for a hammock or waterfall. Something fancy....but low maintenance!

Something peaceful.

Dear Baby,

Do you know...

How anxious we are to meet you?
That you were prayed for....and are a prayer answered?
How I think you might be a tiny octopus in there with all that kicking & poking?
The gentle sweet voice of your daddy? 
That your "baby" big brother thinks you love to be poked and kissed?
How badly you give mommy heartburn?
That mommy is super nervous about having another newborn?
How amazing it is to feel you hiccup? 
That you are most likely the completion to our family?
That you make mommy want to eat doughnuts and ice cream and fruit and cereal and JUNK constantly!? 
How awesome it is that there is another person inside me?
That you hear my heartbeat from the inside?

Dear baby do you know that you are so very, very loved.....already? 

It's awe-inspiring to believe on God's word that He has formed you in my womb. He knows your gender, although we don't! He has completely, fearfully and wonderfully made you in His image. He knows the exact time and date that you will enter this world. He knows how many hairs will be on your head. He granted my body the ability to carry you now to thirty-five weeks. I stand amazed.

Do you know, dear baby, the responsibility that we carry as your parents, family and friends to raise you in His love and under the grace and mercy of Christ's sacrifice so that you are called into His kingdom one day? It will be hard to raise you in this generation. I'm frankly scared of what you'll see and hear. The challenges you'll face. But I trust in Jesus' name. I don't take the responsibility lightly and I pray every day that we make the best decisions that we can for you and your siblings.

There are definitely "worsts" and "bests" of being pregnant. I'd do it all over again....a trillion times over for each of my babies. The "worsts" don't define the experience. They make me very thankful for the "bests"!

The all-day-sickness, heartburn, ligaments stretching, worrisome contractions, more heartburn, insomnia, leg cramps.....the mood swings, tears, "what ifs" and worries.....the swollen ankles and fingers, weight gain, itching.........shall I go on? Dear baby you are worth every.single.symptom!

Today I am 35 weeks.

I didn't think we'd make it this far. The weekly shots - and they hurt let me tell you!!! The constant fear of going into premature labor. The constant comments from people...

"Oh you've never been this big before!"
"You sure you can go another five weeks?"
"You sure are carrying low!"
"Oh honey your face just shows that you definitely won't go much longer!"

They mean well, they do! I feel good actually. I feel at peace and now that we are at week 35, I have the much-needed reassurance that you will enter this world safely!

Dear baby, you are my joy! I can't wait to nuzzle your neck. To kiss your lips. To see your face and decide just who you look like. I can't wait to nurse you and comfort you and watch you grow. I am ready to meet you and call you by name.

Are you a girl? or do we have another son? We're waiting patiently (or for some *ahem* not so patiently!!) to find out! You know, daddy has your picture somewhere in the house. We could know already, but oh, I can't wait to be the first to know and announce it to the world! It truly is one of life's biggest surprises and it is so amazing to not know and get to all find out together. 

I promise I'll be ok with whatever gender you are. People think I'll be disappointed if you are a boy....that we'll "try again". I think they are crazy! You are our "dessert" baby! You are the sweet end. (And even bittersweet in some ways.) Whether boy or girl though, mommy and daddy feel like our little family is complete........unless we gain some bonus kids one day! :)

Today is daddy's 35th birthday!! And tomorrow he has surgery on his knee. It'll also be the last day of school....your big brother is so excited! He wants you to come on his birthday - which is in ten days, but ONLY if you are a boy. Because boy's can share birthdays...and if so, surely you'll like StarWars too, he says! But girls need their own birthday, so if you are girl, congrats!, you can have your own princess & pony party he says! Oh your brothers are in for a ride...but they are, too, excited to meet you...even if you aren't a "dog". (You'll understand one day!)

The next week is VBS at church. We've got a history with VBS and childbirth....will this be your week too?!? "Lions, Fires & BABIES, OH MY!"

Our prediction is June 24th. Shall we meet you at the hospital then, little baby??

Oh precious baby, is it a date?
Mommy can't wait for her first kiss!!

They Dig It!

One House.
Four Buildings.
Twenty-Five Acres.
Seven Hundred Million Feet of Water Line.
Seven Hundred Million Feed of Electrical Line.
Six Yard Hydrants.
Many. Many Strenuous Hours Later....

We have water!!

Hard work I tell ya!!

Be aggressive, Be Be aggressive!

"B-E   A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!!"

It was only his first practice but I was already sweating bullets on the bench and shaking in my boots for him.

I've had to do a lot of "coaching" with this boy from the time he was little until even now. He's needed the reassurance that he can do this.

You see, we've already been through baseball. Getting used to the whole "team" thing. Learning what a base is, and a strikeout, and how to run like Forrest! After three seasons, I believe, he finally has some confidence in the game. Hitting pretty consistently. But he's 6. It isn't the Major Leagues. I don't stress over it but finally found my comfort zone and could relax.

And besides. I've always said I don't want to be that mom. Whatever that mom is. I don't want to be her. I don't want to force any sport or activity on my child. I don't want him to do things that he doesn't enjoy. I don't want to place the emphasis on winning, and being the best.

I want him to learn how to be on a team.
To play.
To have FUN.
To "Be Aggressive" when he needs to be. (He does have an older brother after all!)

I want the kid to NOT be like me. To not be scared to play a sport because his fear of failure takes over. I still to this day will not play volleyball. Don't ask me why. But I don't like things being hit toward me. Duh. And I don't want to look stupid when my face ends up in the sand. Or disappoint the team when I'm not paying the least bit of attention and I'm day-dreaming about chocolate ice cream. Mmmmm.

Anyway, get to the YMCA. He immediately begins. "I don't want to go to this YMCA. I don't want to play here!" We get out of the car, kicking and screaming and crying. "I don't want to play. Tell them I'm not playing. I'm NOT going inside." He's blocking me at this point. What he doesn't know is that I am more than terrified for the both of us. It was like the first day of school. I was nervous. I wanted to cry with him. He didn't need to worry or be scared, I was worried and scared enough for the both of us!

We get inside and down the hall into Gymnasium 2. Kids are hooping it up, laughing, dribbling, just jumping right in. Not my little mini-me. He's tearing up again...fighting it. We go out to meet the Coach and he won't speak (which drives me batty by the way but we're working on being polite and at least making eye contact). So we go back to the bench and I begin coaching him on how fun this is going to be and look!! there's Hunter from baseball and Ava from Kindergarten....you can do this baby! But it isn't working. Praise Jesus, Doc walks in and up they go out onto the court to begin stretching and announcing to each other their names, what grade they are in and what their favorite thing to do is. Amazingly they ALL love to play basketball. Imagine that. But not my kid. I couldn't hear him well and he was last to announce his biography. But he definitely didn't say "basketball" as his favorite thing to do.

So they warm up.

And BAM!!

No joke. The Coach has them running suicides (he was last and we almost had a breakdown), dribbling down the court and back (he was last, again), bounce passing to another teammate (he was enjoying this actually), doing layups (he had no CLUE what a layup was), and all kinds of other basketball related drills. It was fast. I was sweating.

And he was enjoying it!!

He was smiling and having a good ole time. I had to remind myself that basketball is fast paced, he's gonna be ok. I could see it in his eyes though. At any minute he could break. Coach was telling them "whoever is last will have to do 10 pushups". He was ancy to get a head start. He didn't want to be last. But still, he was.

And he got down and started to do pushups.

My heart dropped to my feet. And it broke.

It broke into a million pieces and I wanted to swoop him up and get out of there. But he smiled. And did his pushups. And Coach told him how good he did and they carried on.

You see, this life of boys...I'm not sure I'm cut out for it. I'm an emotional basketcase sometimes. I cry a lot. I'm tender-hearted. And I sweat like a man because I'm nervous, and I get scared at stupid things!! Boys are so much tougher and I want to keep my big boy a soft-hearted baby. But while I pray he continues to hold onto that soft heart, I also pray he grows into a strong, BRAVE, young man! 

That he one day, boldly, shakes the hand of his Coach.

That he one day doesn't even think twice about starting a new sport or hobby or job.

He was the last to make his free throw so that we could leave. I was biting my nails. A couple other moms that I was talking to were staying to watch Lukas make his shot. I was so nervous for him thinking "is he REALLY going to make him do this? in front of everyone? the kid doesn't even know how to shoot the ball" and BAM. He makes the basket.

Yeah, so, he was last.

But who cares?! HE MADE THE BASKET!! The smile and joy....and the cheers of the moms around me (THANK YOU!).....made my heart burst!!

This is good for him. I have to keep reminding myself of that because if not, I'd be at the front desk asking for a refund in a heartbeat. But it's good for me too. He makes me stronger. And wiser. And it makes so SO proud of him for being brave and DOING it.

He's a pretty OK kid, ya know?! :)

But he's still this little baby in my eyes.

And his little brother.....this little spitfire. He's not scared at all. He's ready for his turn, crying because he WANTS to get out there!

It's crazy. Their personality differences.

My boy is big for his age. Everyone has always thought he was much older than he is because of his height. But he's only 6. The doctors say that he'll be at least 6'4" when he gets bigger. I'm afraid "bigger" is just around the corner at this rate. He's already to my chest and growing every day.

Moms, please tell me this slows down a little. Tell me that I'm not crazy. Tell me that it is normal to watch videos like the one below and boo-hoo......



Because today...I'm a mess. I am so proud of these kids. All of them. And I don't care what sports they play, if any, or what hobbies they enjoy, as long as they are wholesome! I just want them to be brave and feel good about themselves while doing it. I want them to (gently, slowly!) spread their wings.

And just....
take.the.shot.

Burn baby, Burn!

We've been working hard around these woods cutting down trees, pulling up vines, raking leaves...and leaves...and more leaves. Prettying up the place.

But holy freak-of-nature, this piece of land! You really can't even tell all the hard work we did with raking and pulling up vines because guess what?!?!

It's covered again! Vines. Leaves. Limbs.

You mean, I'm going to have to do this on a yearly basis?

Homeboy better get a better rake. Like an electric one. with a leaf boy to go with it. It's insane.

A couple of weekends ago we finally got a break in the weather, and schedule, and had us a big ole bonfire! Things get surrious around these woods and we break out the fire trucks and big hoses. "Arggh Arggh!!"

My little yard boys! Thirteen, six and three. I'll be darned. STOP GROWING!

Oh but wait!! Ha!! I don't need a leaf boy! I've got three! Ok, carry on acting all big and stuff.

Wearing your irresistibly cute hats that make your ears fold over like dopey and make my heart skip a little. Did I help make this cutie? Is he really mine?!

Well if so...."GET TO WORK KID!!! No sitting around while there are leaves falling every second of every day!"

See, like your daddy. He knows his role. :D

And yes, I know mine. Feed the hungry monsters. 

This fire was fah-sizzling hot!

One weenie on a stick is for the tough and the brave...and those without eyebrows.
I'm not tough and although I need a wax, I'd prefer to keep the brows. So I had my scarf turbaned around my head to block the heat. Then smartened up and went to multiple weenies on a stick.

Oh and hello, bonfire = s'mores 

I like mine hot. Says the girl married to the fireman. ;) Ahem. S'mores people! Get your mind outta the gutter!

See? Hot fireman-like dude staring at the hot fire. Contemplating whether to add more kerosene or let it burn nice and slowwwww.....

They let it burn. 

and burn.....

and burn....

Until it was dark. The kids were tired. I had to pee. It was fun. Now let's go home!

PSA: Did you know that poison oak travels through smoke? Oh you didn't? Just ask my husband, stepdad and stepson. They've got the itch, dry skin and grossness to prove it. You're welcome.

Happy Surprises

Remember when you were little and mom went to the grocery store and she would announce...
            "Hey kids, I'm going to the grocery store, can you think of anything we need?" 

I'd always reply...

            "Bring me back a happy surprise!" 

I remember it vividly. There's not much I remember from my childhood it seems. Little tidbits here and there. But happy surprises. You always remember them.

And today I'm announcing our little "Happy Surprise"! I think I'll never forget this little happy surprise.

Pregnancy #3. Kid #5.

Meet Baby Plum. (He/She was named the week it was the size of a plum!)

Isn't it amazing? Every single time it's like the first time when you see the + test...

There's a little shock...

I mean really. We were done. DONE. D-O-N-E. Honestly. Done. 

Or so we thought. We had prayed about it. I was 95% done. Hubby was 100% done. Guess who was the one to "give in"...I remember distinctly..."The Lord's will be done". Mmmm hmmm. Women, never ever trust a man's percentage calculation equations on doneness. They can trip you up and the next thing you know.......hello positive dollar store test! You weren't done. We weren't done. I knew it. I tried to tell him. ;) 

And I'm so thankful!

Here is where I was a few months back...

Remember, I said I knew I wasn't done. Now, don't get me wrong. I was done with pregnancy. Just not with kids. I wanted more. I wanted to help. I wanted our family to understand this dynamic and the necessity that is "out there". The kids who need homes. The kids suffering through Foster Care and multiple "parents". The disabled kids who need real, true love. The boys who need a father. The girls who need a mommy and a sister.

Sure, our home isn't perfect. We've got a lot of learning to do on the topic of parenting. But there's one thing we don't have a shortage of, and that's love. I know it in my heart. And even with this happy surprise, I bet the void still isn't filled. In honesty, in the midst of hovering over toilets, massive headaches, kidney stones and every.other.imaginable.symptom...it has faded. But I bet it's still there. I pray it is still there.

Because the kids.....they are still there.

We are the church. We ARE the CHURCH. The orphans, the elderly, the poor. We have so much. They have so little. It isn't a charity case or a duty but a burning desire.

Until the end of June..... or July.

....here we are. Pregnant. Again. 

I freaked a little at first thinking it may be twins. Everyone thought it may be twins. I was big. Fast. I was freaking. But I knew that no matter what, God had us covered in His mercy and His plan is far more superior than ANYTHING I could write down on a sticky pad and check off! He's got this. He's got me covered in His grace and thank God, peace. There is only one. :)

This man knows when to "Let Go and Let God!". I trust him. He's my rock. He is the leader of this family and I am so very thankful. You are a good daddy. Just think.... two more little footprints on the t-shirt. Aren't we blessed?

I can't wait to hold this little bundle. 

I think it's a girl. I've never felt sure with the previous pregnancies. And I'm not 100% sure now. (You know me and percentages!) But all of the "gender prediction tests" say girl. It's kinda crazy.

But we won't know until sometime in July when he/she arrives. Another little "Happy Surprise"!

Either way, this child is blessed. And we are blessed because of this child. 

God's percentages are SO much more reliable. 

•

To my friends who may read this and haven't received their positive test, or those who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy. Keep holding onto faith and to God's reassuring promise that He has a plan. I pray for you. I pray for your day. And in the meantime, I pray for your peace and patience and frustration and fear. I love you. 

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5

Just One Drop

It's been raining in North Carolina.
and raining.
....and raining!!

We've had an unusually wet summer. Normally we are under a major drought at this point but I think we are one rainbow shy of downloading plans to build us an ark!! "Hold on Noah, we're coming!"

We headed out to the Barnhouse to mow the other night. We knew we had very little time. We saw the clouds rolling in as we left our house and knew we had to be quick about this. 
 

 

We had a plan....Lukie-poo (eventually, he's going to hate that I call him that!) and I were going to ride on the Bacca-mobile and collect trash as the hubs mowed.

SIDE NOTE: By the way, WHY do people litter? I can't stand litter. The main thing we collect is beer cans and bottles...and McD's wrappers. What's up with that? Hey folks, have you ever thought that maybe you should drink your beer at home? GASP! And perhaps throw your garbage in your own trash can. Heck, you can even throw it in your own yard if you so choose. 

I shudder to think how many people are driving around drinking alcohol.

And I shudder to think what other peoples homes look like if they lack such care for our beautiful country. It makes me sad folks. And it's REALLY gross.

End rant.

Back on point.... instead of mowing, because hubs knew he had very little time, he decided to do a little roof and gutter maintenance. Check out my man! "Arrr Arr Arrr!" ;) Hey, there's nothing sexier than a workin' man with a back-pack leaf blower in shorts and boots!!

Well, there is a workin' man doing laundry.

or vacuuming. 

or putting the kids to bed.

or praying with our family!

But back to the point, it is a shame the disrepair of this place. The roof isn't that old but there are some yucky leaks and, get this, there are NO GUTTERS! No gutters. What house has no gutters? They are important and this is why......

If you don't have gutters, you understand these pictures. You get get a monsoon and flooding. Again... "STOP THE BOAT!!"

Which reminds me, I really need some rainboots. I should've hit the Tractor Supply when they had their horse-cowgirl-boot-rain-shoe sale! I could've been a REAL country girl! But nevertheless, I think I'll get me some of these instead! Deciding a color would be my downfall. There's that, and needing a loan!

Hunter ® Rain boots

 
And maybe these for when I'm feeling feisty this winter! Don't you love that color? 

Artic Adventure Muck Boots ®
Winter Boots 

 

....and it rained....

(Now, don't go minding all those electrical wires just floating around waiting for an innocent bystander! The power is disconnected, no worries!)

 After all was said and done, we picked up the garbage from the street, made a lap around the property for kicks and giggles, going as fast as we could.....

..................and then the bottom dropped out! We parked ole 'bacca just in time for the Lukester to make it to the Jeep safe-and-sound and with not a drop on him; while I, in the meantime, had to put away the keys, lock up the house and then make a mad dash to the Jeep.

I was soaked.
And it was fun.
Good times folks. good times.

This post made me think of a current fave on Christian radio these days. And the lyrics go a little like this...

I need you, and you need me
Left alone, we will never be who we could be
So take my hand and, don't forget that
We can do anything together
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Just one drop of your love
A single ray of sun
Just one thing to change the world
It's just you and me
Starting with a dream
And giving it all we've got
Only takes one drop
Come with me now, look and see how
There's an ocean overflowing with our hope so
Let's jump in and, take a swim, it's
You and me, yeah forever

Dear Hubs, 

This is the beginning of our dream. 
It's just you and me.
Let's jump in.
Let God be our single ray of sun.
Let's give it all we've got.
It only takes one drop.

You + Me = Forever

Love,
Manda Bear



PS. DON'T BE A LITTERBUG!