Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Dear Baby,

Do you know...

How anxious we are to meet you?
That you were prayed for....and are a prayer answered?
How I think you might be a tiny octopus in there with all that kicking & poking?
The gentle sweet voice of your daddy? 
That your "baby" big brother thinks you love to be poked and kissed?
How badly you give mommy heartburn?
That mommy is super nervous about having another newborn?
How amazing it is to feel you hiccup? 
That you are most likely the completion to our family?
That you make mommy want to eat doughnuts and ice cream and fruit and cereal and JUNK constantly!? 
How awesome it is that there is another person inside me?
That you hear my heartbeat from the inside?

Dear baby do you know that you are so very, very loved.....already? 

It's awe-inspiring to believe on God's word that He has formed you in my womb. He knows your gender, although we don't! He has completely, fearfully and wonderfully made you in His image. He knows the exact time and date that you will enter this world. He knows how many hairs will be on your head. He granted my body the ability to carry you now to thirty-five weeks. I stand amazed.

Do you know, dear baby, the responsibility that we carry as your parents, family and friends to raise you in His love and under the grace and mercy of Christ's sacrifice so that you are called into His kingdom one day? It will be hard to raise you in this generation. I'm frankly scared of what you'll see and hear. The challenges you'll face. But I trust in Jesus' name. I don't take the responsibility lightly and I pray every day that we make the best decisions that we can for you and your siblings.

There are definitely "worsts" and "bests" of being pregnant. I'd do it all over again....a trillion times over for each of my babies. The "worsts" don't define the experience. They make me very thankful for the "bests"!

The all-day-sickness, heartburn, ligaments stretching, worrisome contractions, more heartburn, insomnia, leg cramps.....the mood swings, tears, "what ifs" and worries.....the swollen ankles and fingers, weight gain, itching.........shall I go on? Dear baby you are worth every.single.symptom!

Today I am 35 weeks.

I didn't think we'd make it this far. The weekly shots - and they hurt let me tell you!!! The constant fear of going into premature labor. The constant comments from people...

"Oh you've never been this big before!"
"You sure you can go another five weeks?"
"You sure are carrying low!"
"Oh honey your face just shows that you definitely won't go much longer!"

They mean well, they do! I feel good actually. I feel at peace and now that we are at week 35, I have the much-needed reassurance that you will enter this world safely!

Dear baby, you are my joy! I can't wait to nuzzle your neck. To kiss your lips. To see your face and decide just who you look like. I can't wait to nurse you and comfort you and watch you grow. I am ready to meet you and call you by name.

Are you a girl? or do we have another son? We're waiting patiently (or for some *ahem* not so patiently!!) to find out! You know, daddy has your picture somewhere in the house. We could know already, but oh, I can't wait to be the first to know and announce it to the world! It truly is one of life's biggest surprises and it is so amazing to not know and get to all find out together. 

I promise I'll be ok with whatever gender you are. People think I'll be disappointed if you are a boy....that we'll "try again". I think they are crazy! You are our "dessert" baby! You are the sweet end. (And even bittersweet in some ways.) Whether boy or girl though, mommy and daddy feel like our little family is complete........unless we gain some bonus kids one day! :)

Today is daddy's 35th birthday!! And tomorrow he has surgery on his knee. It'll also be the last day of school....your big brother is so excited! He wants you to come on his birthday - which is in ten days, but ONLY if you are a boy. Because boy's can share birthdays...and if so, surely you'll like StarWars too, he says! But girls need their own birthday, so if you are girl, congrats!, you can have your own princess & pony party he says! Oh your brothers are in for a ride...but they are, too, excited to meet you...even if you aren't a "dog". (You'll understand one day!)

The next week is VBS at church. We've got a history with VBS and childbirth....will this be your week too?!? "Lions, Fires & BABIES, OH MY!"

Our prediction is June 24th. Shall we meet you at the hospital then, little baby??

Oh precious baby, is it a date?
Mommy can't wait for her first kiss!!
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